Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson maintains that adults have a fierce desire to protect and nurture the next generation. This is the generative nature of parenting? to nurture and protect the next generationWe recognise this desire in women as the maternal instinct. Men's strong desire to look after the next generation is best recognised through their protective instincts. Man as hunter and gatherer has always had the survival of his family and community as a... Read More
'How can I start getting my children to help out at home?'Many parent ask me this question. My answer is simple ? "It depends!"Achieving a behavioural change in children is dependent on their age and stage of development, their temperament and attitude, and how set in their ways they are.Let's look further at the above helping at home scenario. If the children are four years of age or younger then encouraging them to contribute to their family's well-being is relatively... Read More
Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when parents become involved in their education. According to the National Institute for Literacy, when parents or other family members frequently read to children entering kindergarten, those children were at a distinct advantage over children whose families read to them less often.The Early Childhood Longitudinal Study found that "Children who were read to at least three times a week by a family member were almost twice as likely to score in... Read More
Just the other day, I was talking to some other stay at home moms and asked if they were struggling with any difficulties. "Yes," one piped up almost immediately, "discipline problems with my 6 year old smart mouth know-it-all! I don't want to spank, and don't, but he seems to laugh at time out, privilage loss, etc. What do I do?"Ahhh.. the joys of independence in children. I have found in working with children that when negative consequences are imposed... Read More
Get into their world. The world that teens are growing up in is not the world in which we grew up. In case you ever doubt that, here is what author and speaker Josh McDowell has said on the subject: "The average teenage boy is exposed to more sexual stimulation on the way to school than his grandfather was on Saturday night when he was looking for it." The next four suggestions are more specific ways to get into their... Read More
I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:"How can all this teen violence be happening?"My questions are:"How could this not be happening"and"Why doesn't it happen even more often?"Here's what I mean by these questions - although there are many more factors involved, just consider these three:1) kids listen to increasingly violent music, see increasingly violent movies and TV shows, and play increasingly violent video games. All of these without any focus on... Read More
I was in the life insurance sales industry for over 8 years. One of best teaching that I have learned from the industry and found in all top sales professionals and successful individuals is:"All super successful individuals love people more than they love money."And it is their love for people that make them wealthy and rich.I share this same teaching with my children since young. I truly believe that it will be the most important factors to help them become... Read More
Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your baby home and are pretty excited about everything. Perhaps you don't even mind the fact that getting a good night's sleep is getting tougher by the day.Getting into a routineThis is not easy, but rest assured, it will happen. By the end of the first month, new parents discover that their baby lets them slip into a comfortable (but exhausting) routine. If this is your first baby, you probably feel... Read More
"I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been starting with that little whine that babies adopt to alert mothers and sisters that their new crawling tricks have them wedged behind the furniture. But the whining had stopped--rather suddenly it seems in retrospect."Thanks, Cassie. You are such a big help," I said. "How did you manage that?""I got her a beer."Sure enough, Callie was still wedged behind the table, but now she was happily gumming the cold smooth side... Read More
Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I old enough to call you Dad?"Won't be long now before he is asking for the car keys.......Here are a few things I'm learning as well as some important things I've discovered so far about this thing called fathering.1. You really have to give up the myth of quality time vs quantity time. By the time the average child is 7 years old, they have watched 20,000 commercials. Given that amount... Read More
Every now and then I'll get a story sent to me by e-mail that is a no-brainer idea for an article. One of those came across my desk just the other day. It's called "I Wish I Had a Second Chance."Like many of these things, the author's name was not included. If anyone knows who the author is, I'd love to know so I can give him or her credit and thanks.Give it a read, and then let's put some... Read More
For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor play equipment can be a daunting task. There are so many different materials to choose from and prices can vary from around a hundred dollars up to a couple of thousand for a larger solid timber unit. Outdoor swing sets can be as simple as an individual swing right up to a swing, slide, ropes and bars along with sandpit, cubby or fort.Before you make any firm decisions there are... Read More
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first bell of the year will ring and the sounds of summer will be replaced by the voices of school-aged children bemoaning the end of their summer and trying to sort out their new school routines: What building am I in? Who's my teacher this year? Do I really have to take calculus?For most children, going back to school signifies a move from the lazy, hazy days of summer to a... Read More
Each child carries a unique picture of the self, shaped in part by the influence of parents. Your child is not born with a self-image or self-assurance. Both traits are learned through experiences beginning from birth.But who is the self-assured child? Simply put, it is the child who is confident of their self-worth, and their talents and abilities. A confident and outgoing child, who is not afraid to show the world all the unique ways in which he / she... Read More
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed the examples that were set for me years before when I became a step parent. The way my stepson finally came to love and respect me as his step mother, was through all of the "trying" experiences we had. Excuse the pun, but raising kids is a very trying experience!One of the first times my stepson "tried" or tested my word and consistency was over catching the school bus. Nick... Read More
Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much of this terminology is sales promotion and jargon, and how much is fact?As an educator for many years, I can say with authority, that there is educational value in all types of jigsaw puzzles. The skills acquired and practiced in completing jigsaw puzzles are a foundational part of successful learning. Doing jigsaw puzzles develops several functions of the brain simultaneously as a child has fun and also learns. Most notably... Read More
There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different from your own parents, your siblings, or your neighbors. There is no right or wrong parenting style. If you are teaching your children basic values and good citizenship, you have already won half the battle. There are some basic character traits that are necessary for children to develop into good citizens and role models. Instilling these values in your children will provide them with a strong foundation on which they... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes wound us deeply, to the very core of our soul. The hurtful words of our children can scar us like no other. They are capable of hurting us with the deepest kind of hurt. When the words "I hate you" spurt forth from the mouth of a five year old in the throes of a temper tantrum we tend to overlook them. When words such as those are hurled at... Read More
Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache, burning fever and sore throat. So what does any natural mother do when their offspring takes ill. They smother him or her with a lot of TLC and would walk to the ends of the earth just to take away the pain and suffering.Is a mother's love, medicine?Despite all those motherly rituals mentioned above. There was no change in my nine year old son's condition. Meningitis still so distant in... Read More
For most children, it is easy to learn to read faster. Their reading rate is often a matter of habit. But to begin, you may need to help them change some of their existing habits.Here're some tips which you can help your children:Get them to pay attention when they read.Many children read while they are doing other things or they are reading in an environment where there are many distracting activities going on.For example, some children read while the TV... Read More
