Stress Management articles

Have you ever listened to someone, perhaps even to your self, talk about being worried? You'll hear things like, "I'm so worried", "I'm worried sick", or as my mom used to tell me, "You worry me to death!"Certainly makes worry sound like a very powerful force, doesn't it? And as a matter of fact, it is. Worry can make us sick, and in it's most extreme form, it can kill us.Then why in the world do we do this thing... Read More

It was a self-exploration that made me understand myself. It was like discovering the one last elusive word in a jigsaw puzzle that completes other words.I had to interview Father Francis Chittilappilly, Executive Director of BOSCO - an organization in Gandhi Nagar in Bangalore that provides succor to street children. I thought I would get it over with in an hour and then attend to the endless list of to-do that I keep in my handbag.As I waited for Father,... Read More

Seems like more and more they are all around us. You know who I'm talking about - all those difficult people who seem to cross our path everyday.Whether we associate with them, work with them, or, even worse, live with them, they can drain the life out of your day if you let them.3 Rules for dealing with difficult peopleRule 1 - You cannot, will not, and should not even try to change them. The only winnng move, if you... Read More

Have you ever noticed how we keep falling into the same holes and ruts in life? We know something doesn't work and yet we keep doing the same things over and over again.Have you ever wondered why we do this? And more importantly, how do we stop doing it, how do we stop "digging"? And how do we get out?As I've studied and searched over the years for ways to help people get the changes they want, quickly, gently and... Read More

The Rule of BalanceThere is more to life than work. There are so many other areas of our lives than just work. Spend some time each day and/or week focused on all the other areas of your life. Repeat after me, there is more to life than work.The Rule of 10This one is a bit controversial, but I've come to believe it through my own experience. The rule of ten states that if it can't be done in ten hours... Read More

Let's take a look at some of the more serious signs and effects of workaholism.Workaholism is a thief. Here are a few of the things that workaholism can rob from us.Workaholism steals your mindYou can rarely think about anything else or concentrate on something else beside work. The focus of your mind is on problems and issues at work. You may be good at problem solving on the job, while problems in the rest of your life are ignored and... Read More

As we celebrate yet another Labor Day, I thought it might be useful to take a look at the place of work in our lives.For some of us, work is a means to an end, for others it's a joy, and for still others it's like an addiction.Addiction to work is called workaholism. One of the many interesting things about workaholism is that it is the most socially accepted addiction. We tend to give praise in our society to those... Read More

Q: "My career, though very very stressful, is one that I thoroughly enjoy and do not want to change. Because I'm under so much stress, my counselor has recommended that I eliminate all stress from my life. This doesn't seem to make sense to me, especially since I like what I do so much. Should I quit my job, or is there something else I can do?"I think your counselor is wrong. I'm sure they mean well, they just don't... Read More

In my experience, most of us spend a lot more time living in problem land, griping and complaining, than we do in solution land, working hard and enjoying solving problems.It's almost become a national past time. Just check out a talk show or a self help book. Almost all the time and space is spent describing, giving examples, and complaining about the problem, with, if we're lucky, only a glimpse at possible solutions.Drives me nuts.Having said all that, let's look... Read More

"Do you want to be a lump of coal or do you want to be a diamond?" That's the first question I ask to begin my stress management seminar called "A Diamond is Nothing More Than a Lump of Coal That Handled Stress Very Well."We seem to have some interesting misconceptions about the stress in our lives. The most common is that stress is something to be avoided at all costs, and true happiness comes from being totally stress free.That's... Read More

Mark Twain once said, "It's not what we don't know that hurts us. It's what we know that isn't so."At this point, you might be saying, "Wait a minute, if I believe I know something, doesn't that make it so?"Well, yes and no. (That's a classic therapist answer, by the way.) The yes part is that in many ways, if we believe something, that can make it so for us. Henry Ford said, "Whether you believe you can or you... Read More

Here's an amazing quote from Time magazine:"At birth a baby's brain contains 100 billion neurons, roughly as many nerve cells as there are stars in the Milky Way."My first thought was after reading this was "Wow, we get all that power and hardware with no owner's manual or instruction booklet!"Having just recently purchased a new computer, I've been pouring through owner's manuals and instruction booklets, trying to understand a tenth of what this machine can do. Just imagine what we... Read More

Do you attack problems and solve them or do you whine and moan about how it's just not fair?Do you anticipate and plan for the future or do you worry about what's around the next corner?When life hands you a lemon, do you make lemonade or do you complain about the size of the lemon?Do you see the glass as half empty, half full, or perhaps just not big enough?Let's look at a few ways to be a worrier, and... Read More

Stress Vs PressureStress is something we all have, it's not going away, it's a sign we are alive. The question is in how you handle it. Pressure, on the other hand, is what we tell ourselves about the stress in our lives. It's a self-induced, inside job.Have To Vs Get ToTo understand what I am getting at here, just pay attention to how many times a day you catch yourself thinking or saying "I have to.........". If you are like... Read More

The Mask of "I've Got It All Together"It's so easy to put this mask on, and then forget you are wearing it. We want to look to the outside world as if everything is fine, we've got it all handled, no problems, thank you very much.This one weighs alot, and is very heavy to carry around. Even worse, it makes it very hard to ask for help, which leads to the next mask.............The Mask of "I Don't Need Anyone"Simon and... Read More

Over the years I've collected scores of comics and cartoons about marriage, families, stress and change. There is just something about a good comic strip that can many times explain something much better than I can.One of my all time favorite strips in the "Family Circus" - and not just because the little boy's name is Jeff. It's also because it realistically captures many of the struggles of day to day living.A few years back, I cut out a Family... Read More

One of the dumbest things I have ever done is grab a hot iron by the bottom.We were rushing out of the house for a trip a few years back. The last time I had used it was hours ago that morning, and had left it on the ironing bourd in the bed room. I didn't know Lauren had used it just a moment before.I've never dropped anything so fast before or since!Most of you are probably a whole lot... Read More

File this one under the category of "watch your language."The language we use when we are trying to change something simply amazes me. We say things like I can't - it's not fair - I'll never be able to do this - etc. And then we wonder why we are frustrated and don't feel so good.One of the most limiting things we say to ourselves is "I have to." Our brains hear I have to and tend to automatically rebel.Perhaps... Read More

On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water skiing with some new friends. I hadn't skied in a while, and as I floated in the water with long pieces of wood strapped to my feet, here's what I remember thinking:"I wonder if I remember how to do this." "Will I be able to get up?" "How soon will I crash?"The rope tightened and I got up like I'd been doing this for years, began to ski and sure... Read More

ResentmentsA wise friend once said that holding onto resentments is like trying to crush a sandspur between your fingers. You might eventually do it, but it sure is going to hurt you in the process.Life tip: Forgive. Release yourself from the pain and focus on the future.Procrastination"I'll do it later" has to be the biggest con job we can run on ourselves. Procrastination fosters the belief in "someday," which never comes because it just isn't on the calendar.Life tip: The... Read More